"I closed my eyes and thought about it, for some reason I didn't want totell dad, I thought he might be disappointed in me, think I was just asissy boy, be sad perhaps angry but I made up my mind, I had to tellhim the truth, he was right, our family life would be difficult if Ididn't. It was going to be bad enough if I did tell the truth but if Ididn't it would lead to friction and that would mean mum and dadarguing and even getting a divorce and putting an end to our family andthat would be the worst thing of all. I opened my eyes and looked athis face which was soft, there was no disappointment showing, no hatredso quietly I said. "I would rather be a girl. Since I was five or sixyears old I have often wished I had been born a girl but I know it now.It isn't just about the pretty clothes, Dad, there are lots of reasonsI think I'm really a girl. I'm not all that keen on football or rugby,climbing trees and things like that, at school I preferred being withthe girls. I like. ”We actually ended up having more than half an hour extra together, including the time waiting for trains. It was great to be with her as normal human beings away from the constraints of being with our parents; we nattered about the past weekend, and in veiled terms (there were other people about) further discussed our hopes for the coming weekend. Best of all was either standing close together with our arms around each other, or sitting on the bench seat in the train with our thighs and shoulders touching, her hand in mine, none of which had been safe to do at home.It was another of the things that I really missed about being separated from Julie. Apart from my best friend not being around to talk to, nor my lover sharing my bed, nor exploring my new surroundings with my soulmate by my side; the everyday loving physical contact with her that I had grown so accustomed to had suddenly vanished. Holding hands with Jen both calmed and frustrated me – I so wanted it to be the love of my.
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